
Chapter One
Anita
āThis is a mistake,ā Haven, my best friend, says from her seat in the rented SUV beside me. This was her idea, not mine. But I still think itās a good one.
āWeāll just check him out and see what happens,ā I reassure her. My grip on the steering wheel is tight as the oversized vehicle chugs up the curvy mountain road.
I donāt mind the elevation. But there are usually guardrails in place. Unfortunately, the road leading to the Lawrence Lodge doesnāt have them. The Lawrence Lodge is where Ben, Havenās new potential boyfriend, is staying.
My bestie is a pop singer, the international kind of famous that means sheās always in the media and being stalked by paparazzi. After her latest boyfriend used her to further his career, I suggested she try online dating. I even signed her up for an app, Curve Connection. Itās a dating site that was created by and for curvy women who are looking for love.
Ā āNo, sheās right. This is a terrible idea. We should go home,ā Oliver grumps from the backseat. He happens to be Havenās head bodyguard. Heās giant, all muscle, and broody. Heās also my secret crush, but he has a thing for Haven. Besides that, heās always grumpy with me. Itās obvious he only tolerates me because Iām Havenās assistant. The thought makes me a little bit sad.
Havenās cheerful but nervous mood changes at Oliverās words. She slumps in her seat, reminding me of a deflated balloon.
Oliver doesnāt try to be a jerk. Heās just the type of person thatās careful and spends way too long thinking things through. But I hate seeing my best friend looking defeated before sheās even met Ben. āIf you want to get new results, you have to try new things.ā
He sighs deeply, a sound laced with disapproval. He didnāt like it when Haven said she wanted to come up here and meet Ben.
Of course, Ben doesnāt know my bestie is coming. He doesnāt know sheās a pop singer either. All he knows is heās been chatting with Haven online. He hasnāt even seen her face, just a little avatar I created for her.
So, when we check in today, Haven will use an alias. This will give her time to scope out Ben and see if heās actually good boyfriend material. That might sound harsh, as if weāre testing him.
But I heard the way her old boyfriend used to talk about her. Not only did the sleazeball cheat on her, he made fun of her weight and looks behind her back. My friend deserves better. All women do.
Besides that, Ben may not be able to make it in Havenās world. Sheās constantly being followed by the paparazzi. If they find out about Ben, his life could quickly become a media circus and he may not be able to cope with that. Quietly investigating him is the best solution for both of them.
I stop the vehicle in front of the lodge, noting that the parking lot is only dotted with a few cars. According to reviews, the small resort located in Lake Bliss, North Carolina is something of a shithole. But this is Haven. Iāll do anything for her, even stay at a lodge where coming home with bed bugs is almost guaranteed.
āJust act normal. The way you do around us,ā I remind Haven. Despite her fame, sheās still down-to-earth and true to herself. I love that about my bestie. Most of her other friends either deserted her or sold stories about her to the tabloids. She could have let that make her bitter and become a total bitch. But she didnāt. She stayed kind and authentic. Thatās not easy to do when youāre in her industry.
āDo I look silly?ā She asks as she slips on the square black frames I selected for her. I gave Haven a makeover before we left, changing her hair color and style. I considered going with contacts to change her eye color. But we both thought they would get annoying, so, we ended up choosing glasses. Dressed down in my clothes, itās hard to tell sheās the same person that sings to sold out stadiums.
āYou look beautiful,ā I reassure her.
āIf this goes south, just send me a look,ā Oliver says. His voice is dark and gravelly, and I canāt help but wonder what he would sound like if he were buried deep inside me.
āEasy there, John Wick,ā I retort as I remind myself that he likes Haven. She doesnāt know this but the last two guys I dated just wanted to get close to her. I dumped them once I realized what was going on. I love my bestie with all of my heart. Itās not her fault that men are drawn to her. But sometimes, I wish I wasnāt second pick. I want to be noticed too.
I pull her toward the front door and the moment we step into the lodge, I relax. Based on the reviews, Iād expected to be presented with a place that looked like a landfill. But the lobby is clean and neat. There are leather armchairs in front of big bay windows. A fireplace is happily crackling nearby and thereās a bookshelf filled with classics that guests can read. Itās nothing like I had imagined.
A man stands from behind the counter. I recognize him from the dating app pictures. Heās Ben. Havenās Ben.
I push her toward him and step back, pretending to inspect the bookshelf. The place even smells nice. Like a mixture of pine trees and cinnamon.
Oliver follows me over to the bookshelf.
Heās standing close because I can feel his body heat behind me. If I turned, I bet I would be staring at the middle of his suitcoat.
Heās about a foot taller than me and always dressed in a black suitcoat, dark slacks, and a white dress shirt. Heās been working for Haven for three years and Iāve never seen him in anything but that outfit.
āWhat do you think she sees in him?ā Oliver grunts.
āBen is cute,ā I say since I donāt really know the answer either. Iām not even remotely attracted to the guy. But I can recognize that heās not bad looking. Heās lean and fit, with a boy next door charm.
Still, I wonder how my best friend could ever look at Ben when she has someone like Oliver interested in her. Oliver with his bulky frame and wide shoulders. He carries himself with an aura of power and confidence. He keeps the team of men he trains organized and efficient. I donāt think Iāve ever seen so much as a button out of place on his people. Oliver simply wouldnāt allow it.
Every time Iām around him, I feel safe because I know heās in control. But I also get nervous too. Because one day, heās going to glance away from Haven long enough to realize Iāve had a crush on him for years, and that will spell disaster for me.
***
Oliver
I fuckinā hate that Anita thinks Ben is cute. I canāt help pointing out a few things about him to her. āHe lives in a tiny, cramped apartment. He makes a pittance working as a firefighter in another small town, and heās barely got two hundred and fifty-six dollars in his checking account, give or take that milkshake sitting on the front desk.ā
All of that is true. Except that he does have a decent sized savings account. Thatās where most of his money appears to go. Heās got no vices or bad habits that I could find, and I know the type of men that can get me every piece of information on a person.
I could say that I was just being overprotective when it comes to Haven. After all, her last boyfriends have been major douchebags. But the truth is there was no way I was going to let Anita be around a man that I didnāt know every single detail about.
She doesnāt know it but sheās mine to protect. Iāll fuckinā kill any man who so much as looks in her direction. As it was, running off her last boyfriend wasnāt hard. Once it became obvious what he was after, I made sure he was out of her life.
She thinks she ran him off. She thinks she accidentally discovered what he was really like. But I was the one looking out for her, making sure she saw through the lies.
My phone dings with a message. Itās a confirmation for the delivery of daffodils that will be waiting for Anita in her room. One day, I saw the way she looked longingly at the flowers Haven always receives. Since then, I make sure she has some waiting for her wherever weāre staying. I want Anita to know every day that sheās the most special woman in the world.
She glances up at me, interrupting my thoughts. Her long strands of hair cling to my suitcoat. Iāve fantasized about wrapping that ponytail around my hand while thrusting into her so many times.
She gives me that little teasing grin. Itās usually reserved for just Haven but today, I get it and I feel like a million bucks. āBoxers or briefs?ā
For a moment, I think sheās asking me about what I prefer. But then I realize sheās focused on Ben. I hate the idea that sheās thinking about the underwear another man has on.
I grunt.
She giggles. I find it annoying when most women giggle. But not Anita. For some reason, she doesnāt annoy me. Maybe because Iām always thinking about ways to tie her to my bed and give her endless orgasms. āI bet you know everything about him.ā
I start to retort but my toes are itching. Some guys complain about phantom pains after losing a limb. For me, I get a phantom itch. Itās gotten better in the years since the amputation. But there are still times when my body seems to forget a part of me is missing.
Iāve worked damn hard to make sure no one around me knows. Haven is the only person Iāve told about my above-the-knee amputation, and I donāt think sheās mentioned it to Anita. Others have noticed the limp but itās easy to dismiss as a war injury. Not only is it true, but the explanation keeps people from asking questions.
Iām not embarrassed or ashamed. But I donāt want Anita to know. Weāve worked together for three years and most of the time, we bicker and fight with each other. Itās been the worldās longest game of foreplay.
Nothing will ever happen between us. For one, Iām fifteen years older than her and two, she could do better than a former soldier with plenty of blood on his hands. Still, Iām a masochist because I keep coming back for more.
I glare at Ben from across the room. Thereās a part of me thinking that if I put enough hate into the stare, I can neutralize the guy into a pile of ash on the floor. A tiny pile of ash.
To his credit, Ben holds my gaze. My respect for him grows a small fraction. Most people wonāt hold my stare because Iām an intimidating bastard to look at. At six feet six inches with my bulky frame that comes from hours spent weightlifting and extensive combat training, Iām not the type of man you want to meet in a dark alley.
Anita elbows me in the chest, and I pull my attention back to her.
āStop acting like youāre about to hulk out. We should be happy for her,ā she says. Thereās a note of wistfulness in her voice so strong that it makes my own heart clench.
I want Anita to be happy. She deserves to be with someone who will make her his whole world. But before I can tell her that, Haven is bounding over to us and destroying the moment.